The Forgotten Anniversary

A man was in big trouble with his wife because he forgot their anniversary.
She said angrily, “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 100 in under 5 seconds!”
The next morning, she woke up and looked out the window, but there was only a small box in the driveway. Confused, she went outside, picked it up, and opened it.
Inside was… a bathroom scale.
The funeral for the man will be held on Saturday!